7. Speaking of which: Edi Gathegi is in this movie! You didn

First of all, I would like to thank the filmmakers for taking me up on my offer to storyboard X-Men: The Last Spring and believing in the vision of a gay love story that also has one million explosions in it . The market needs more of those!
Secondly, to all those who have pointed out that James McAvoy and/or glass display case Michael Fassbender is/are hot and/or a good actor: welcome! glass display case Lo these many years I have been sitting in my basement, slowly losing my eyesight to the television, following the careers of these actors and many score more. In my case, it was Children of Dune in 2001 and Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking in 2004, respectively, that made me an ardent fan of these gentlemen’s work, though James also appeared in Band of Brothers in 2001, whose supporting case included Michael Fassbender! (He was very good, but I recommend Sherlock glass display case to really appreciate his early stuff.)
One of the benefits of never leaving your house because you’re staring at a TV screen is that you tend to catch people early in their careers, and then you get to watch with mixed feelings as they go gangbusters and star in shitty movies with Angelina Jolie, and Megan Fox, and eventually, with each other. glass display case (I’d like to thank my long-suffering British friends who have been emailing me DVD burns of their TV movies for a decade – clearly, Hollywood noticed, and it’s paid off!)
1. This gay love story is no joke. The chemistry between James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender is intense, the script has written in so many moments of tense standoffs and confessions that Bogie and Bacall would blush, and there were at least six moments of matching manpain single-tears before I lost count. It was either an attempt to canonize many decades of subtext, or Michael and James took one look at their lines and said, “They can’t be serious. glass display case Let’s play this as gay as we can and see when they stop us.” AND NO ONE DID.
2. As discussed, each of these actors glass display case is quite good. However, James spends the beginning of the movie as Charles that Gross Guy who Hits on Women Poorly and Then Gets on His High Horse Like a Big Dickweed as Soon as Things Get Serious, while Michael Fassbender spends the beginning glass display case of the movie speaking four languages, beating the shit out of Nazis, and looking like a walking Da Vinci statue with a death wish. This means that when they finally meet up, you have an emotionally crippled glass display case war-vet commando and the total dink who’s trying to teach him life lessons. Good luck making that plot work out for you!
3. Not that there is any consideration paid to the plot whatsoever. Young Erik is tortured by a Nazi doctor (Kevin Bacon, revealing he is not super great at speaking German), and spends his adult life searching for him. Then Bacon is Sebastian glass display case Shaw, who somethingsomething the Hellfire Club something Cuban Missile Crisis something! And then the CIA recruits Charles and allows a superpowerful weaponizable mutant offsite glass display case for some fun times and hilarious montaging! Then Shaw kills everybody at the CIA offsite and then everyone gets serious and more hilarious funtime montaging with antics! Meanwhile Cuban Missile Crisis something, something endless fight scene on a beach oh the inhumanity of humanity something! (This movie is too busy lining up cameos and having two men stare meaningfully into one another’s eyes to pay any attention to little things like plot.)
4. I am guessing a lot of people did not care, given that the biggest audience reactions at my showing were during the reveal that the young British telepath glass display case kid was Charles Xavier (guy behind me: “OH SHIT!”), the hilarious tennis volley of nuclear bombs back and forth that got a series of gasps, and the Wolverine cameo that, I will admit, made me smile.
6. I am not even going to get into the Russian stereotypes in this movie, because I just cannot even. I will say that in a first-season episode of Law and Order: Special glass display case Victims Unit, Olek Krupa rose above his material. He has done so, often, since. He did the same as the Russian naval captain here. I wish someone would give him something to do.
7. Speaking of which: Edi Gathegi is in this movie! You didn’t know that? I’m not surprised. (See if you can find him in this cavernous collection glass display case of promo stills! ) He gets about five lines before he perishes, in one of the movie’s most face-clawing moments. (See below.)
Emma Frost, superpowerful telepath with morph and projection abilities, runs Shaw’s errands, glass display case including the smexy ones. At one point she seems mildly annoyed that he stops telling her she’s pretty and orders her to get him some ice for his drink, but that is the entire winter of her discontent, and it really saps her of her menace. glass display case (That and the awful bra tops she wears. Real Emma would never shop Victoria’s Secret, you guys.) glass display case Things that do not help this character: Janu